Well, here I sit, in our little hotel room in Columbus, GA watching my 3 loves sleeping! Yes! I said 3! My wonderful hubby Tom, my sweet adorable monster-boy Tanner and our new tiny Princess, little Miss Olivia! I thought this would be a good time to sit and write down all of my thoughts and memories of every little detail of this journey so far!!! So, here we go!
So, "I" (our Birth Mom) told me that she was induced at 39 weeks with her first baby and was hoping to be induced again! (She gave birth to and kept her first baby and he is adorable!) She had an appointment on Thursday the 18th and was hoping that they'd schedule her for an induction at 39 weeks, but when she went in, they told her that she had not dilated at all. We were all pretty bummed! So, we were just going to have to wait until the following Thursday or until she went into labor. Well, on Tuesday (the 23rd) she text me and told me that she had been walking ALOT and felt like she was dilating, since she was contracting a bit. And then the next day she called me and told me that she was really hoping that the next day at her appointment that she had dilated and they would just go ahead and induce her. (The did that with her first, induced her the same day as her appointment.) We weren't sure what to do... we wanted to be there for the birth, especially since that was really important to "I", and she had asked several times to make sure I'd be there for it! But at the same time, we didn't know if we should fly out before we had even heard how her appointment went, incase she didn't go for a few days and we'd end up in Georgia for several extra days! But, Tom and I both prayed about it and we both felt inspired to fly out Thursday morning and be to Columbus by about 8:00pm. So, we the 3 of us hopped on a plane and flew to Atlanta, GA! Our plane landed at 5:00pm and at this point we hadn't heard how the appointment had gone. But when I turned my phone on, I had a text that said she was at the Hospital!!! Ahhhh!!! We got our luggage, found our rental car and drove the hour and 1/2 from Atlanta to Columbus! We went straight to the hospital and we all went up to meet "I"! Tom and Tanner only stayed for a few minutes and then they came to the hotel, but I stayed with her all night! She was there all by herself, and when I saw that, my heart was immediately full of gratitude that our Heavenly Father had answered our prayers and inspired us to leave as soon as we could!
I got to the hospital about 8:30pm and for the next several hours, "I" and I just sat and talked and got to know each other a little more! She had made the decision to place her baby for adoption because she really wanted her to be raised by a mom and dad, in a good family that could support her and give her a life that she could not provide on her own. There were only a few people in her life that knew that she was placing the baby, so she really was alone at the hospital. (Again, even as I sit here typing this, I as so overwhelmed with emotion, that we made it here in time to be here for the birth, so that "I" didn't have to go through this alone.)
About 9:45 they started the Pitocin drip and shortly after that the Dr came in and broke her water, and the contractions started coming a lot stronger. She told them she was ready for the epidural, but the Dr had 2 emergencies and one other labor before her. =( We were both really sad about this! It was between 11:30 and midnight when she finally got the epidural and was able to get a little bit of sleep. As it got closer and closer, she began to be quite emotional. She loved this baby so very much, and she kept saying that she knew she was making the right decision, but it was breaking her heart thinking about not keeping her baby. As you can probably guess, I was very emotional too! Here is the sweetest 23 year old mother I had every met and she was making the biggest decision that she had probably ever made in her entire life, and possibly ever again, and her heart was breaking, and so was mine, but at the same time, my heart was so full of love and excitement at finally holding my new baby in my arms! These were all emotions that I had never ever experienced before and it was amazingly overwhelming! Here I was, so humbled at this sweet girl's decision to let us adopt her baby, and so happy to be adding a baby to our family that I could no longer carry on my own, but also an overwhelming sense of sadness at seeing this birth mom and her baby being separated. It was a lot to handle!
Before she got her pain meds, the nurse made sure with "I" what exactly she wanted done after the baby was born. "I" wanted to hold the baby first, after they had bathed her, and then she wanted me to take her. Tom and I would be given our own room with the baby, and "I" asked for a room on the other hall. Once she was dilated, she pushed for about 30 minutes and our little Princess was born! They took the baby over to bathe her and get her stats. The nurses called me over to see the baby, but I felt so torn. "I" was in the bed, crying, and the nurses wanted me to come see the baby. I cycled through so many emotions that I had never ever felt before, and it was almost too overwhelming for me. I walked over and took some pictures of the baby and came back to show "I". Once Olivia was bathed and clothed, "I" held her and cried for just a minute or so, and then asked if we would take her. Before we left the room, "I", through her tears, said "Please take care of my baby!"
Olivia and I were taken to our own room and we just hung out all day. Tom and Tanner came over after they woke up and we hung out together until I took Tanner back to the hotel for a nap - for both of us! When we came back to the hospital that afternoon, I took "I" some lunch and talked with her for a while. She asked me to come back later and help her fill out some paperwork. I went back later and was only with her for a few minutes before a friend or someone walked into the room and she excused me without introducing me. (I can totally understand why she did it. Friends and family were finally showing up to see her, not having previously known that she was not keeping her baby... so I'm sure things were pretty awkward and hard for her.)
She kept saying that she would like to see the baby again before we all left the hospital, but I guess the timing was never right, because she didn't not see Olivia again. Friday night, before we left the hospital for the night, we were trying to work things out with the Attorney who would be coming the next day to have "I" sign papers and to discharge the baby from the hospital. The doctors didn't want Olivia to go home until Sunday, but they were going to let "I" go home Saturday, and the baby either had to be discharged to the birth mom or the attorney. So, either they would let "I" go home and then have her come back on Sunday to sign the papers (which I was not ok with, because I was scared that she would go home and be around her family and friends and they would convince her to not sign) or they would have her sign on Saturday with the Attorney, but then she would have to come back to the hospital on Sunday to physically hand us her baby, for a 2nd time... and I couldn't have her do that either. But, as always, the Lord's hand was in it and we were able to sign and be discharged on Saturday morning. "I" never saw Olivia again and she said that she wanted to meet up with us in a few days, but we have not heard from her. She also said she would like this to be an "Open Adoptions" but it will be interesting to see how much communication we have with her. And I don't blame her if she wants to keep her distance. I can not imagine how hard it would be to place a baby and then have to watch another family raise her. We love "I" and respect whatever she decides to do. We are so grateful and feel so blessed for the circumstances that led us to this agency, which led us to "I" and our sweet Olivia!
****Update (11/12/16)**** I know this is 2 years later, but I'm a little slow on the blog front! We ended up staying in Columbus, GA for about a week, and then going up to Atlanta, GA so that we would be closer to the airport. We were in Atlanta for over another week, and still didn't hear any word that we were ok to leave GA and return to UT. Finally our caseworker just told us to come home and just lay low until we got the actual clearance. I am so glad that we listened to her because for some reason there was a little tiff between the agency and the Attorney, and the Attorney refused to submit our paperwork!!! Olivia was born Sept 26th, and we didn't get clearance to leave GA until Halloween! Ahhhh! To be honest... the whole adoption process was not the easiest or funnest... but in the end, were able to finalize in April of 2015 and take Olivia to the temple to be sealed to us!
6lb 13oz / 19 3/4 in
Olivia and I were taken to our own room and we just hung out all day. Tom and Tanner came over after they woke up and we hung out together until I took Tanner back to the hotel for a nap - for both of us! When we came back to the hospital that afternoon, I took "I" some lunch and talked with her for a while. She asked me to come back later and help her fill out some paperwork. I went back later and was only with her for a few minutes before a friend or someone walked into the room and she excused me without introducing me. (I can totally understand why she did it. Friends and family were finally showing up to see her, not having previously known that she was not keeping her baby... so I'm sure things were pretty awkward and hard for her.)
She kept saying that she would like to see the baby again before we all left the hospital, but I guess the timing was never right, because she didn't not see Olivia again. Friday night, before we left the hospital for the night, we were trying to work things out with the Attorney who would be coming the next day to have "I" sign papers and to discharge the baby from the hospital. The doctors didn't want Olivia to go home until Sunday, but they were going to let "I" go home Saturday, and the baby either had to be discharged to the birth mom or the attorney. So, either they would let "I" go home and then have her come back on Sunday to sign the papers (which I was not ok with, because I was scared that she would go home and be around her family and friends and they would convince her to not sign) or they would have her sign on Saturday with the Attorney, but then she would have to come back to the hospital on Sunday to physically hand us her baby, for a 2nd time... and I couldn't have her do that either. But, as always, the Lord's hand was in it and we were able to sign and be discharged on Saturday morning. "I" never saw Olivia again and she said that she wanted to meet up with us in a few days, but we have not heard from her. She also said she would like this to be an "Open Adoptions" but it will be interesting to see how much communication we have with her. And I don't blame her if she wants to keep her distance. I can not imagine how hard it would be to place a baby and then have to watch another family raise her. We love "I" and respect whatever she decides to do. We are so grateful and feel so blessed for the circumstances that led us to this agency, which led us to "I" and our sweet Olivia!
****Update (11/12/16)**** I know this is 2 years later, but I'm a little slow on the blog front! We ended up staying in Columbus, GA for about a week, and then going up to Atlanta, GA so that we would be closer to the airport. We were in Atlanta for over another week, and still didn't hear any word that we were ok to leave GA and return to UT. Finally our caseworker just told us to come home and just lay low until we got the actual clearance. I am so glad that we listened to her because for some reason there was a little tiff between the agency and the Attorney, and the Attorney refused to submit our paperwork!!! Olivia was born Sept 26th, and we didn't get clearance to leave GA until Halloween! Ahhhh! To be honest... the whole adoption process was not the easiest or funnest... but in the end, were able to finalize in April of 2015 and take Olivia to the temple to be sealed to us!
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