Update on Tom

It has been a few months since Tom's surgery and he is doing great!  He went back for his post-6 weeks check up and he wasn't quite healed enough to go back to work.  Since the day of his surgery, he has had a "soft spot" on his forehead and just a few weeks before his check-up, it started filling up with fluid when he would bend over! Ahhh! It was so scary.  Dr. Maughan assured us that this was not uncommon.  It was probably CSF, and possibly because the patch job to the Dura may not have held tightly.  But he is counting on the packed sinuses to keep the fluid where it needs to be.  So, he was off for another 6 weeks so that he could completely heal.  During this time, we had a great talk with Dr. Maughan and he strongly advised against joining the army, because of risk of injury to his head. So while he was out of work, Tom applied for and got a job in the Shock Trauma ICU at IMC in Murray, which he starts this week.  Since the army isn't going to work out, we decided to get the ICU experience that he needs for another CRNA school to accept him.

So here we are, again, starting another journey... a very unexpected one.  But as we look back at all the many tender mercies that we have received over the past year, we are truly humbled and feel extremely blessed!  We felt prompted to get moving, to work towards grad school and that was getting going with the Army.  We felt prompted to sell our house during the summer, so that we wouldn't have to try and sell during the winter before we left for Texas.  Our house sold in less than a week!  From the sale of the house, we were able to pay off our cars.  So... when, 2 months later, Tom got so sick, and over the next 6 months of doctor's visits and surgery... we had no mortgage or car payments.  Things have not worked out the way we thought they would, but we have been taken care of and we are extremely grateful for the promptings, ways before Tom got sick, that got us prepared for what was to come.  What a very humbling experience for us!

Here are some pics of Tom's recovery!  You can't even see his scar!

We are so extremely grateful that we still have this crazy man in our lives!

Meningitis

The morning of November 5, 2015 (Thursday) will be a day that I will never forget and that changed our lives drastically.  The kids and I had been sick with super yucky colds for a few weeks and we were so grateful that Tom hadn't been sick also.  He came home Wednesday night from work, helped me get the kids in bed, get me settled on the couch (since that is where I had been sleeping all week to try and let him get some sleep), and he told me he was going to bed because he didn't feel very good.  He had a pretty bad headache and felt like he was getting a fever.  Both of us just chalked it up to it being his turn for the yuckies.  I finally talked him into taking some Tylenol before bed (because he was starting with a fever and chills) and we all went to sleep.  The next morning, I woke up super groggy from cold medicine and not sleeping all night.  I realized that I didn't remember seeing Tom come in the kitchen for breakfast before he left for work.  Tanner woke up about that time and came into me and wanted something. I told him to go ask his daddy.  He came back a few minutes later and said, "Mom. I tried to talk to Daddy but he won't say anything to me!"  My first thought was "Oh! The man cold!" and I wondered if he had called into work to let them know he wasn't coming that day.  I tried to rouse him, but he wouldn't talk to me either.  He would open his eyes and moan out in pain.  He was BURNING UP!  I tried several times to get him to wake up and take something for the fever, but he would not respond.  As I was trying to wake up and figure out what was going on, I randomly remembered Tom telling me about the first time he had had meningitis and how his friends had found him and what he was acting like.  It was exactly like what was going on now.  I texted Kathy and told her what was going on and asked it sounded familiar and her response was "Get him to the hospital, NOW!"

I had called my mom and told her I couldn't get him to wake up or talk to me and she suggested getting an ice cube and rubbing it on his forehead to try and wake him (since flicking water in his face had not worked).  As soon as the ice touched him, he smacked my hand, throwing the ice across the room and yelled "Stop it!"  All I could do was laugh!  But after that, I couldn't get him to react or talk again.  I was starting to wake up and get really worried.  My mom hung up and called Lynette Wilson, who is an EMT and she came up to help me.  She had also called my Grandpa and a neighbor to come give Tom a blessing.  Lynette showed up with 2 of her daughters and after trying to wake Tom, calmly looked at me and said,  "I think it's time to call 911."  I had no voice, due to my cold, so she called for me.  Her sweet daughters took care of my kids for me.  Tom received a blessing and the EMTs showed up.  After not being able to wake or rouse him either, the put him in the ambulance and rushed him to the hospital.  He was very sensitive to pain, and would not let them prick his finger to test his blood sugar levels! Haha!

When we got to the Emergency Room, they began to do some tests and to ask me questions.  My mom was there with me and Tom's parents were also there.  I told the doctors that Tom had had Meningitis 2 other times and this seemed very similar. They did a spinal tap to confirm that it was indeed a third bout of Meningitis. Tom was admitted to the 3rd floor, where he worked, and was put in a semi-private room.  His manager hand picked the staff that would take care of Tom and he was really treated well.  Thursday evening, Dr. Houghton (the doctor who admitted Tom) pulled me aside and told me that he had NEVER seen a case of Meningitis this bad.  Tom's numbers were off the charts.  He said that any extra prayers and blessings he could get, he needed, because he was fighting for his life.  He told me that really Tom should be in the ICU, but he was holding stable.  He would stay of 3rd floor IMC, but the ICU was on alert, incase anything changed with Tom's condition.  Tom received another Priesthood blessing that night.  Tom's dad offered to stay the night with him so that I could go home and get some sleep and take care of the kids.  Tom was still out of it all night.  He was agitated and in pain and kept trying to rip his tubes out.  They finally had to restrain him to the bed so for his own safety.  The next afternoon (friday) around 2:00 Tom finally started becoming aware of his surroundings and started to talk and respond to us. Dr. Houghton was astonished that he was doing as well as he was, considering the state he was in the night before.  Tom remained in the hospital until Monday afternoon, when we were finally able to go home.  He had been cleared by the Infectious Disease doctor and all his labs were looking good.  He was sent home with a PIC line and antibiotics for several weeks.

Over the next several months, we spent a lot of time with doctor after doctor, trying to figure out what keeps causing him to get Meningitis and what we could do to prevent it from happening again.  We were told several times that if he gets this again, he most likely will not survive it, so we were very very proactive about finding a solution.  We met with Dr. Winters, a Neurosurgeon at McKay and he did several exams and CT scans trying to find answers.  We (us and the doctors) determined that Tom's really bad car accident that he had on his 19th birthday (almost 18 years before this) that had caused so much facial trauma, must have caused a CSF (Cerebral Spinal Fluid) leak somewhere, which was causing the recurrent Meningitis.  But for all of our efforts and scans, no leak could be found.  Dr. Winters sent us to see Dr. Ramirez, an ENT.  Tom and I both felt like it was a useless effort to go see him, but Oh My Goodness! Are we ever grateful that we did!  He stayed after hours to see Tom and did another CT scan, sitting up this time.  By the time we left his office that night, he had determined that because of the facial trauma from the crash, his Right Frontal Sinus had collapsed and was not draining properly. So, every time Tom would get sick or get a sinus infection, it had nowhere to go, but back into his brain.  We were told that a Craniotomy was necessary to open him up and get to the sinus to fix it.  We opted to have the surgery in Murray at the IMC hospital, so that meant another month or so of seeing new doctors.  Dr. Maughan was our new Neurosurgeon, and he was really hesitant to do the surgery.  Mostly because he really didn't know what to expect until they actually opened Tom's head up, and that is scary.  He wanted to do the surgery with an ENT that he works with, so we then met Dr. Sharma, who as soon as he saw Tom's labs and scans, was in total agreement to proceed with the surgery.  He even told us that if Tom had been his patient years ago, he would have done the surgery then and he never (or most likely) wouldn't have gotten Meningitis a 3rd time!

Tom had his surgery on April 29, 2016 (friday) and it went really well.  Dr's Maughan and Sharma came to talk to my dad and I in the waiting room after the surgery and told us they were so glad they did the surgery.  Once they got Tom opened up, they found that there was a bony structure (cause from the crash) with a sharp jagged piece of bone at the back, that had poked and ruptured the Dura (membrane) around the brain, and that the brain was actually sitting on the bone!  AHHH!  If he had gotten in another accident or even hit his head too hard, something really bad could have happened.  When the Dura was repaired, they found that there actually was a very slow CSF leak.  They patched the Dura and packed both Frontal Sinuses with fat and closed him back up.  Tom was only in the ICU that day and then moved to the medical floor.  He only had one dose of narcotics, and then only had Ibuprofen the rest of the time!  His face swelled up quite a bit and bruised some, but he really did surprisingly well!  We was sent home on Sunday morning and he is expected to be out of work for at least 6 weeks. 

We are so gratefully for all of the tender mercies and all our guardian angels that have been with us over the last 6 months!  We are so truly blessed to have been guided and directed in the ways we have! 

Pre Surgery Prep!

Before

 During

 After

Right after Surgery

2 days after Surgery (the day he came home)

New Adventures!

A few months ago, after we had taken our sweet little family to the temple to have our little Olivia sealed to us, Tom and I both felt like she was why we moved back to Utah, and now it was time to get going on Graduate School.  He had started a Nurse Education program at Weber right before Liv was born, and he finished half of it, when he decided he did not want to be a Professor or an Educator for the rest of his life.  I had kind of discouraged CRNA school lately, because I really want my kids to be able to live close to family.  But we got looking into our options and decided with that if we didn't make a career change, we would still be in the same situation financially in 5 years.  So, we have decided to join the Army and go through their CRNA program in San Antonio, Texas!  Their program starts in March. It's a 3 year program, with an additional 5 year commitment to the Army upon Graduation.  

We decided to try and sell our house, so we don't have to do it in the winter and .... It sold in less than a week on the market!  Yay!  We are headed back to my parent's house in Morgan for 6 months, until we leave for TX!

We have loved this home and our neighborhood and our ward.  We have made so many friends and we will truly miss them!

Our family is FOREVER!

The time has finally come!!!  These last 6 months have been a whirlwind of emotions!  Excitement of having a sweet baby girl in our home!  Craziness of having to kiddos!  Stress that for some reason, something was going to go wrong with this adoption and she was going to be taken back by her birth parents.  And several more emotions, to many to name.  But... the time is here!

On Monday, April 6, 2015, we were able to go to court and finalize our adoption!  What a great feeling that was to have her... to know legally she is ours!

And then a few short weeks later, on Saturday, April 18th, we were able to take our little family to the Ogden Temple and have Olivia sealed to us, for Tine and All Eternity!  This was even more special to us! To know that not only is she legally ours, but now she is eternally ours too!  We are so grateful for Temple Blessings and what it means for our little family!  We were also able to give Olivia a name and a blessing at church the next day!  What a great month it has been for us!

Olivia Jamari Cahoon

Well, here I sit, in our little hotel room in Columbus, GA watching my 3 loves sleeping!  Yes! I said 3!  My wonderful hubby Tom, my sweet adorable monster-boy Tanner and our new tiny Princess, little Miss Olivia!  I thought this would be a good time to sit and write down all of my thoughts and memories of every little detail of this journey so far!!!  So, here we go!

So, "I" (our Birth Mom) told me that she was induced at 39 weeks with her first baby and was hoping to be induced again! (She gave birth to and kept her first baby and he is adorable!)  She had an appointment on Thursday the 18th and was hoping that they'd schedule her for an induction at 39 weeks, but when she went in, they told her that she had not dilated at all.  We were all pretty bummed!  So, we were just going to have to wait until the following Thursday or until she went into labor.  Well, on Tuesday (the 23rd) she text me and told me that she had been walking ALOT and felt like she was dilating, since she was contracting a bit.  And then the next day she called me and told me that she was really hoping that the next day at her appointment that she had dilated and they would just go ahead and induce her. (The did that with her first, induced her the same day as her appointment.)  We weren't sure what to do... we wanted to be there for the birth, especially since that was really important to "I", and she had asked several times to make sure I'd be there for it! But at the same time, we didn't know if we should fly out before we had even heard how her appointment went, incase she didn't go for a few days and we'd end up in Georgia for several extra days!  But, Tom and I both prayed about it and we both felt inspired to fly out Thursday morning and be to Columbus by about 8:00pm.  So, we the 3 of us hopped on a plane and flew to Atlanta, GA!  Our plane landed at 5:00pm and at this point we hadn't heard how the appointment had gone.  But when I turned my phone on, I had a text that said she was at the Hospital!!!  Ahhhh!!!  We got our luggage, found our rental car and drove the hour and 1/2 from Atlanta to Columbus!  We went straight to the hospital and we all went up to meet "I"!  Tom and Tanner only stayed for a few minutes and then they came to the hotel, but I stayed with her all night!  She was there all by herself, and when I saw that, my heart was immediately full of gratitude that our Heavenly Father had answered our prayers and inspired us to leave as soon as we could!  

I got to the hospital about 8:30pm and for the next several hours, "I" and I just sat and talked and got to know each other a little more!  She had made the decision to place her baby for adoption because she really wanted her to be raised by a mom and dad, in a good family that could support her and give her a life that she could not provide on her own.  There were only a few people in her life that knew that she was placing the baby, so she really was alone at the hospital.  (Again, even as I sit here typing this, I as so overwhelmed with emotion, that we made it here in time to be here for the birth, so that "I" didn't have to go through this alone.)

About 9:45 they started the Pitocin drip and shortly after that the Dr came in and broke her water, and the contractions started coming a lot stronger.  She told them she was ready for the epidural, but the Dr had 2 emergencies and one other labor before her.  =(  We were both really sad about this!  It was between 11:30 and midnight when she finally got the epidural and was able to get a little bit of sleep. As it got closer and closer, she began to be quite emotional.  She loved this baby so very much, and she kept saying that she knew she was making the right decision, but it was breaking her heart thinking about not keeping her baby.  As you can probably guess, I was very emotional too!  Here is the sweetest 23 year old mother I had every met and she was making the biggest decision that she had probably ever made in her entire life, and possibly ever again, and her heart was breaking, and so was mine, but at the same time, my heart was so full of love and excitement at finally holding my new baby in my arms!  These were all emotions that I had never ever experienced before and it was amazingly overwhelming!  Here I was, so humbled at this sweet girl's decision to let us adopt her baby, and so happy to be adding a baby to our family that I could no longer carry on my own, but also an overwhelming sense of sadness at seeing this birth mom and her baby being separated. It was a lot to handle!

Before she got her pain meds, the nurse made sure with "I" what exactly she wanted done after the baby was born.  "I" wanted to hold the baby first, after they had bathed her, and then she wanted me to take her.  Tom and I would be given our own room with the baby, and "I" asked for a room on the other hall.  Once she was dilated, she pushed for about 30 minutes and our little Princess was born!  They took the baby over to bathe her and get her stats.  The nurses called me over to see the baby, but I felt so torn.  "I" was in the bed, crying, and the nurses wanted me to come see the baby.  I cycled through so many emotions that I had never ever felt before, and it was almost too overwhelming for me.  I walked over and took some pictures of the baby and came back to show "I".  Once Olivia was bathed and clothed, "I" held her and cried for just a minute or so, and then asked if we would take her.  Before we left the room, "I", through her tears, said "Please take care of my baby!"
Olivia and I were taken to our own room and we just hung out all day.  Tom and Tanner came over after they woke up and we hung out together until I took Tanner back to the hotel for a nap - for both of us!  When we came back to the hospital that afternoon, I took "I" some lunch and talked with her for a while.  She asked me to come back later and help her fill out some paperwork.  I went back later and was only with her for a few minutes before a friend or someone walked into the room and she excused me without introducing me.  (I can totally understand why she did it.  Friends and family were finally showing up to see her, not having previously known that she was not keeping her baby... so I'm sure things were pretty awkward and hard for her.)
She kept saying that she would like to see the baby again before we all left the hospital, but I guess the timing was never right, because she didn't not see Olivia again.  Friday night, before we left the hospital for the night, we were trying to work things out with the Attorney who would be coming the next day to have "I" sign papers and to discharge the baby from the hospital.  The doctors didn't want Olivia to go home until Sunday, but they were going to let "I" go home Saturday, and the baby either had to be discharged to the birth mom or the attorney.  So, either they would let "I" go home and then have her come back on Sunday to sign the papers (which I was not ok with, because I was scared that she would go home and be around her family and friends and they would convince her to not sign) or they would have her sign on Saturday with the Attorney, but then she would have to come back to the hospital on Sunday to physically hand us her baby, for a 2nd time... and I couldn't have her do that either.  But, as always, the Lord's hand was in it and we were able to sign and be discharged on Saturday morning.  "I" never saw Olivia again and she said that she wanted to meet up with us in a few days, but we have not heard from her.  She also said she would like this to be an "Open Adoptions" but it will be interesting to see how much communication we have with her.  And I don't blame her if she wants to keep her distance. I can not imagine how hard it would be to place a baby and then have to watch another family raise her.  We love "I" and respect whatever she decides to do.  We are so grateful and feel so blessed for the circumstances that led us to this agency, which led us to "I" and our sweet Olivia!

****Update  (11/12/16)****  I know this is 2 years later, but I'm a little slow on the blog front!  We ended up staying in Columbus, GA for about a week, and then going up to Atlanta, GA so that we would be closer to the airport.  We were in Atlanta for over another week, and still didn't hear any word that we were ok to leave GA and return to UT.  Finally our caseworker just told us to come home and just lay low until we got the actual clearance.  I am so glad that we listened to her because for some reason there was a little tiff between the agency and the Attorney, and the Attorney refused to submit our paperwork!!!  Olivia was born Sept 26th, and we didn't get clearance to leave GA until Halloween!  Ahhhh!  To be honest... the whole adoption process was not the easiest or funnest... but in the end, were able to finalize in April of 2015 and take Olivia to the temple to be sealed to us!

 6lb 13oz  /  19 3/4 in

This Adoption Roller Coaster!

As I said in the last post, we started working with LDS Family Services at the first of the year and were finally approved with them in June!  But several weeks later, we found out that LDSFS will no longer do adoptions after the end of the year.  Bummer!  So,  we prayed about it and felt like we needed to look into a different agency.  On July 23rd, we stopped by Heart and Soul Adoptions in Centerville, UT just to find out what they were like.  We were told to print of their application and fill it out and bring it back.  We also got on the ball and had LDSFS send over all of our paperwork.  Because of the holiday, we weren't able to turn our stuff in until Monday, and we let them know we'd be down Monday morning.  Surprisingly, before we even left the house, we were told that they had a baby in Las Vegas that they were thinking of for us!  We turned in our application and later that day we received the info for the baby/birth mom in Vegas and 2 days later we were in contract!  She was due in Vegas on November 5th with a little black girl!  We went right to work trying to raise money to make this adoption happen! 

The birth mom and I talked a few times on the phone and stayed in contact through texts over the weeks. Just a few days after our big fundraising Yard Sale (August 19th) we found out the birth mom had switched agencies and she was choosing a new family through them.  We were so heart broken and devastated.  It went on for a week or so not really having any answers or new direction and it was really hard on us.  But, shortly after all this, we were presented with a few other situations (one with H&S and one with LDSFS)  and we felt a little better!  We weren't chosen for the LDSFS baby, but we did find out on Sept 5th that a birth mom in North Carolina, due October 18th with another black baby girl, had chosen us!  We were happy, but didn't really let ourselves get excited.  Probably because we had been so hurt the first time.  So, she picked us on Friday, and by Tuesday morning we were sure it wasn't going to go through because she hadn't been in contact with the agency since Friday!  Ahhhh!  Fail #2!  By this point we were really devastated and wondering how long it was going to take us to find our baby.  I prayed very hard that day, pleading with my Heavenly Father, that He would please send THE baby that was meant to be a part of our Forever family to us soon.  

*** Let me back up a little bit...  After the first match failed, I felt almost silly, like we had jumped the gun and told everyone so quickly (almost like taking your first pregnancy test and telling everyone right away).  But I had several close friends and family reassure me that it was necessary to start raising the money, regardless of how soon it was going to happen.  I also had a dear friend/ tell me that maybe we were matched to quickly with the first one to get us working on things, because the baby that was really going to come to our family would be coming sooner than that.  I've very grateful for wonderful friends and family!***

Ok, so back to Tuesday Sept 9th.  Later that afternoon, I received an email from H&S with a new situation and they wondered if we'd be interested, but they needed to know right away because she was due in just 3 weeks (Sept 29th)!!!  I told her "of course we are interested" and within 25 minutes we heard back from our case worker that we had been chosen!!!  (So much emotion, from so many situations and feelings, in not very many days!!!!  Life was pretty crazy for us at this point!)

We were able to talk to this birth mom on the 11th (my birthday!!) and the next day we were in contract!!!  Birth Mom (I'm going to call her "I" from now on) was so sweet and she sounded very certain that this was definitely what she wanted for her baby girl!  "I" and I have been able to take quite a bit on the phone and exchange texts and pictures and it has been really fun to get to know her a little bit!

We are so excited for this new adventure and feel very good about this situation!!!  We feel better about this than we have felt the whole 9 months that we've been working on our adoption stuff.  September 29th can not come soon enough!!!!

Our Adoption Profile! Help Us Spread The Word!

For the last few months, we have been working like CRAZY to get all of our paperwork and classwork and interviews done with LDS Family Services so that we can adopt a baby and we just got word that we were APPROVED and we are now LIVE!   We are so excited to start this next step in our lives and we pray EVERYDAY that are baby will find us soon!

Help us spread the word!  And share our LDS Family Adoption Profile!

Our Adoption Profile